Okay, I get that the Obamas are the NEW! and IMPROVED! version of JFK and Jackie. Therefore, we must be seen frolicking with the children and the puppy on the White House lawn. And, there's at least one campaign promise that he's kept. The dog for the Sasha and Malia.
The only thing I want to know is this. It's April 15th, by very definition the middle of April. How can there be tomatoes in the White House Garden for the dog to steal?
HOW??!?!?!?!?!?!
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
I Would Swear It Was Just Spring Two Days Ago
Remember how I told you about how Annie fell off the slide platform? The only way that was possible was that it was freaking SPRING!
Now? There is about two inches of snow outside.
It's freaking April 7th. What the hell? When does Global Warming kick in, exactly?
In other news, Annie and I thinned the toy herd today. The minivan is now full of discarded toys that she was completely okay with getting rid of. And my girls still have quite a lot of toys.
And a whole new set of them will probably arrive at their birthday party.
Now? There is about two inches of snow outside.
It's freaking April 7th. What the hell? When does Global Warming kick in, exactly?
In other news, Annie and I thinned the toy herd today. The minivan is now full of discarded toys that she was completely okay with getting rid of. And my girls still have quite a lot of toys.
And a whole new set of them will probably arrive at their birthday party.
Monday, April 6, 2009
The Reason For The Lack Of Birthday Pictures This Year
Annie and Grace's birthday are about a month apart. As part of our birthday tradition for them, we usually get their picture taken; it works out well for the family, too since we can then give them out at the birthday parties.
Of course you know what happened, right?
First, Grace tripped over her own two feet and did a faceplant on the porch - occasioning the first visit to the emergency room for either one of them. Three days later, Annie did the same thing - in the same spot. No ER visit for her, just a lovely bruise. That was about three weeks ago.
As the bruises were healing, I began to think about a photo op again.
Yesterday my mom and I took the girls down to playground; it's about a ten minute walk with the toddler legs, five on grown-up legs. It's a fancy schmancy one, got the rock wall and everything. Including a ladder that goes with the steps up to the slide platform. Annie was climbing up it yesterday and proceeded to fall off...all the way down to the ground. About six feet. During her flight, she managed to smack her face off the platform or something, I'm not sure where she hit on the play structure exactly. I was at the other end of the slide catching Grace and I hear a thud and then the screaming.
Blood is pouring out of Annie's nose, she's crying. I scooped her up and told her to bleed on my sweater and we walked calmly home. In about two minutes.
She's fine, it stopped bleeding on the way home. After a recuperative cry and a change of clothes, she wanted to go back.
Um, no.
We compromised and ended up on the swingset in the backyard. Grace does not have a really great grasp of physics. Specifically, that two entities cannot occupy the same space at the same time. She likes to get on and off the twofer swing as she pleases.
Can you see what's coming?
Grace stepped off - right into the path of Annie's forward swing. In a badly timed reaction, I reached out to grab her, thinking I could just push her to the ground and then Gary could grab Annie's swing on the backswing.
Little shit refused to go down, so Annie's swing hit her on the side of the head at full speed while I, essentially, held her still like a punching bag.
Good times, people.
Of course you know what happened, right?
First, Grace tripped over her own two feet and did a faceplant on the porch - occasioning the first visit to the emergency room for either one of them. Three days later, Annie did the same thing - in the same spot. No ER visit for her, just a lovely bruise. That was about three weeks ago.
As the bruises were healing, I began to think about a photo op again.
Yesterday my mom and I took the girls down to playground; it's about a ten minute walk with the toddler legs, five on grown-up legs. It's a fancy schmancy one, got the rock wall and everything. Including a ladder that goes with the steps up to the slide platform. Annie was climbing up it yesterday and proceeded to fall off...all the way down to the ground. About six feet. During her flight, she managed to smack her face off the platform or something, I'm not sure where she hit on the play structure exactly. I was at the other end of the slide catching Grace and I hear a thud and then the screaming.
Blood is pouring out of Annie's nose, she's crying. I scooped her up and told her to bleed on my sweater and we walked calmly home. In about two minutes.
She's fine, it stopped bleeding on the way home. After a recuperative cry and a change of clothes, she wanted to go back.
Um, no.
We compromised and ended up on the swingset in the backyard. Grace does not have a really great grasp of physics. Specifically, that two entities cannot occupy the same space at the same time. She likes to get on and off the twofer swing as she pleases.
Can you see what's coming?
Grace stepped off - right into the path of Annie's forward swing. In a badly timed reaction, I reached out to grab her, thinking I could just push her to the ground and then Gary could grab Annie's swing on the backswing.
Little shit refused to go down, so Annie's swing hit her on the side of the head at full speed while I, essentially, held her still like a punching bag.
Good times, people.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
What's happening, y'all?
First, let me introduce y'all to some people. They are all near and dear to me and more important for our immediate purposes, I'll talk about them a whole lot - which means y'all will read about them a whole lot.
In the clean-up position we have my mother. Also short in stature, but she's way more mellow than I am. She's the Oscar to my Felix. Yes, that means I am slightly OCD about the cleaning thing. Shaddup.
Our third base coach (to stay with the baseball theme) is my father. He is multi-talented, like the rest of us - sensing a theme? I think his greatest joy in life is a well-baked apple pie.
Umpiring this whole circus - from afar, he's not insane - is my grandfather. The girls call him Big Pap. I call him a saint for taking the heathens out to lunch once a week at McDonald's. Which you know is code for Momma Time. Ain't he sweet?
First is my husband, Gary. He of the dishwashing, breakfast cooking, wife supporting, Lincoln Log house builder, Barbie dresser-upper, camo-wearing, huntin' watching, and butt-busting skills. He's a keeper.
Next we have our eldest daughter, Annie. Her absolute favorite snack is "apple an' chee." Her least favorite thing? Coming inside.
Third is our baby daughter, Grace. Short in stature, she makes up for it in volume and temper. I have no idea where she gets that from.
In the clean-up position we have my mother. Also short in stature, but she's way more mellow than I am. She's the Oscar to my Felix. Yes, that means I am slightly OCD about the cleaning thing. Shaddup.
Our third base coach (to stay with the baseball theme) is my father. He is multi-talented, like the rest of us - sensing a theme? I think his greatest joy in life is a well-baked apple pie.
Umpiring this whole circus - from afar, he's not insane - is my grandfather. The girls call him Big Pap. I call him a saint for taking the heathens out to lunch once a week at McDonald's. Which you know is code for Momma Time. Ain't he sweet?
If you hang around here for any length of time, you'll discover that I do not pose for photos. You'll just have to look at my kids and imagine how devastatingly gorgeous I am.
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